Take 21: Crimes Against Fashion

These are my picks for the current Top 5 Worst Fashion Sins. 

You've probably seen some of these before in various fashion magazines. The sad thing is, they're still happening. Every day. All around you. Now, I'm all for individual expression in fashion...no doubt about it. Some things I wear, like my new turquoise bejeweled flats (on sale for $7.50 at Target), other girls wouldn't be caught dead in. But the problem with these 5 is they just. don't. make. sense!!!

1. Uggs worn during the summer with skirts. Most of my friends know that I'm not a huge fan of Uggs in the first place. I think they kinda make women clomp around like Abominable Snowmen, and they're not feminine in any way, shape, or form. But, in Chicago, or Wisconsin, or Canada, I get it. I get that it's freaking ridiculously cold and sheep's wool or whatever they're made of would feel fantastic snuggled around your little tootsies. Check out the photo to the right, though. Seriously? Seriously??? Is it at all practical or necessary or even flattering to wear these clod-hopper boots with skirts? Skirts??? If it's warm enough to wear a skirt without tights, please, please find a cute pair of sandals or some funky low-top Converse sneakers to wear with your jean skirt. Please!!!

2. Coordinating sweatsuits. Listen up Tri-State area women! Yes, I'm mainly talking to you. Thankfully this trend has passed in the South. Or it never came here. But regardless of where you live, this look is over. O-V-E-R. I firmly support fashion gurus Tim Gunn, Clinton Kelly, and Stacy London who plead with women everywhere to have a sweatsuit alternative. That's right. No more velour. No more pastels. No more "Juicy" written across your ass. Pull on a pair of jeans, cute tee, and fashion sneakers. Slip on a cozy sweater. Sweats are worn to...um...what's that again? Oh, yeah.  SWEAT!!!

3. Crocs. Look, I've gotten a lot of flack in the past for saying how much I detest these shoes. Or rubber gloves for your feet, as I think they look and feel. It's just...come on! They're clunky. And rubber. Rubber!!!! And they have holes all over them and come in neon colors and they must smell soooooo bad when your feet sweat. Which they will. Because your shoes are made of rubber. Unless you're actually working in a garden, or professional kitchen, or I guess, maybe even a hospital, just don't do it. Just say no.

4. Socks and sandals. The fact that there's a man or woman alive that thinks this looks good just baffles me. One of my friends said, "Well, maybe he/she has really funky toes." Get a pedicure. See a podiatrist. Wear sneakers.

5. Muffin tops. So, I'm a plus-size girl. There's no question that I can't always camouflage to the degree that I'd like the fact that I have some lumpy bits. But I implore you...please! Just buy a larger size!! That's all it would take here. These jeans are clearly too low and too tight to accommodate the shape of these women. Can you imagine how sleek and streamlined they'd look in a properly fitting pair of jeans? I know, believe me I know, the damage going up a size can do to your psyche. But if you look better in the end, isn't it worth it?! Repeat after me ladies: No More Muffin Tops!!!